Share Your World – Week 52

This is my response to Cee’s Share Your World. Enjoy!

What is your favourite ice cream flavour?

Vanilla. It seems to have become a bad word for boringness, but I love it in both icecream and human form.

If you were to treat yourself to the “finer things” what would you treat yourself to?

I am not one for fancy stuff at all. I was reading one of the First Ladies Detective books and one of the characters was reprimanded for having enough money to employ help but not doing so even though he would have benefited. I think then that if I did have the money I would employ as a housekeeper or chauffeur.

Have you ever been drunk?

Yes. It’s not big or clever and can get you into trouble. Seeing people drunk is also boring. Anyone who gets drunk because they think that it is funny is stupid. Seriously, stop it now. I do not drink anymore as it led me not to be me, and that led to a reputation.

Complete this sentence: My favourite supposedly guilty pleasure is…

Cheesy music. A few days ago I was flicking through the CDs on sale at the charity shop I volunteer at. I found a Village People album and put it at the front where it can be seen. I fully expect it to have been snapped up by now. I admit though that I do actually feel guilt when I sing along to radio cheese though. If others cannot see the beauty then that is their own misfortune.

What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the coming week?

 

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Sweet Seahorse

In the past few days I have made a fine collage of sealife out of chocolate wrappers which I am pretty proud of, and today I received a new power pack for an old laptop. Thankfully it works as my newer laptop was the victim of a temper tantrum. I am now Windows 7 and untouchscreenable, but trust me, these are good things.

The coming week brings us the new year. I see this as a time to recreate myself, and leave bad things behind. I am therefore looking forward to things like not recording more television than I can possibly watch, (I have an episode of Beck that I recorded in October 2015). I also look forward to growing my creative side and nurturing my little online shop. Hey, I might be able to afford a housekeeping chauffeur this time next year!

See you in 2017

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Share Your World – 2016 Week 50

What is your favourite smell? What memory does it remind you of?

I think that my favourite smell is that of newly cut grass. It doesn’t actually bring any specific memory to mind though.

What type of pet do you have or want to have?

I have always wanted a cat so when a colleague of mine said that her cat was going to have a litter and that the kittens would have to be re-homed, I jumped at the opportunity. I knew that I wanted a female, (I heard that males spray so probably wouldn’t make good house cats), and Agatha came to live with me. Strange, and I was not bothered at the time, (I just wanted to give someone a home), but Agatha is a tortoiseshell, and months later I found a picture book of cats and saw the picture of the cat that I wanted. A tortoiseshell, with the same beige stripe down it’s nose!

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A few months later I had the opportunity to get a friend for Agatha, and Maudie joined the pride.

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Are you usually late, early, or right on time?

It gives me the heebie jeebies to think that I might be late for anything, and I don’t trust myself to be right on time, so I am usually far too early.

For recharging, would you rather meditate, swim, walk, listen to music, write, read, yoga, qigong, other?

I like to snuggle down in bed and listen to comedy and drama on the radio.

What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful for the chance to open up an Etsy shop and, (hopefully), make some money from my hobby. No-one else wants to give me paid employment so I shall have no option to be an entrepreneur. I am looking forward in the next week to be twiddling and tweaking my shop settings, creating new ideas, and promoting ZenChildCreations.

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Share Your World 2016 – Week 43

What are you really glad you did yesterday?

For a long time now I have been aware that I need more exercise. Yesterday I ventured out of the flat not once, but twice. Both times I walked about 2 miles! Small victories make for a happy life, methinks.

Would you prefer a one floor house or multiple levels?

As there is only me and two small cats, I like my one floor space. It is quite big enough for me, but I think that I would prefer the ground, rather than first floor. I suffer from sciatica which affects my knees and I live in hope that the condition will not get worse and force me to move. It would also mean that the cats would have the option of going outside (although there isn’t much in the way of soft furnishings outside!).

Have you done something that you truly want to do today?

I received a letter from the tax office containing a cheque for monies owed to me, so yes!

What plans did you have as a teenager that didn’t happen? Are you happy they didn’t work out that way?

I was in a couple of relationships with people who would have liked to marry me. Shudders. Enough said.

What are you grateful for from the last week? What are you looking forward to in the coming week?

I am grateful for the having to extra cash to repay the kindness of a market trader, for seeing the look on her face when I gave her the money that she was not expecting, and for the surprise gift from a friend. I am looking forward to popcorn and horror films at Halloween. Small pleasures make for a happy me.

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It’s not Me, it’s You

I have had a strange problem all of my life; the problem of perception. I do not mean that by this I am saying that I have sight problems, or that I have low self-worth. No. The problem of perception that I mean is other people’s perception of me.

When I was quite young I suffered quite a serious illness. Happily, this has had no lasting effect. Sure I have a couple of minor issues that you could connect to the illness, but it turns out that these issues could be suffered by anyone, so I am happy enough to conclude that there is no connection at all.

I have just finished watching a wonderful TED talk by Susan Cain, and I realised something. When I was at secondary school it seemed to me that I was avoided by many of my classmates. I used to think that maybe there parents had told them to stay away from me because I had suffered an illness that they were ignorant of. This may well have happened, but now I believe something else was going on. I was gently being punished for a wrongdoing.

I kept myself to myself. I was quiet. I was the kid who prayed for a rain at playtime so I could stay in the classroom and read. I hated having to venture into the playground with all it’s noise and chatter, running about and being boisterous. I now live quite near a junior school. I see the quiet ones trying to occupy their time like I did. My heart goes out to them.

I believe that I was subject to prejudice. It’s been going on for most of my life, and it still goes on for others. People do not like others to be different. At the most extreme people will just write you off. Others, who are well meaning, think that there is a problem to be overcome, and they encourage you to join in. I would be invited to parties and get togethers, accept the invitation, and then, assuming I did not back out, hate every minute of it. I love to be part of a team at work, but really, in my spare time, leave me be. Talk to me if you want to, and by all means invite me out, but please don’t pressure me.

I believe that social pressures contributed to my depression. It’s something that I have battled with for a long time, and it’s taken half of my life to start to win the war against it. I am now more confident and more creative now than I have been in years.

I am job seeking at the moment. At the beginning of this period of unemployment I felt useless for not having a job. I would get downhearted if I was turned down for jobs from employers who I never wanted to work for in the first place. Then I realised that all I can do is present the best version of myself to them. If they decided to turn me down then it’s their loss. A job does not define who I am. Being unemployed does not define who I am. Society will no longer decide who I am. I will decide.